So I keep seeing this “Friend Zone” topic coming up a lot on Twitter so it made me think of my experiences and why I used to put a lot of my guy friends in the abyss….ooops I mean “zone”
Wikipedia defines it as “The friend zone is when one person in a platonic relationship wishes to enter into a romantic relationship while the other does not. It is generally considered to be a regrettable situation by the lovelorn person. Common publications giving advice on dating state that once this situation has happened in a relationship, it is difficult to undo.”
We all have this habit of putting people in the “Friend Zone” I personally like to call the friend zone the “Maybe later when no one wants me & I’m desperate” zone. If someone doesn’t want you there and then they’re not going to want you later on. It’s as simple as that.
Seeing as I’m a woman I can only write this in my perspective. Just like men if a woman wants a guy she’ll do everything in her power to get that guy. Don’t listen to this whole she’s shy malarkey, if she wants you you’ll know about it!
There are many reasons why I would put a guy in the “Friend Zone” here are the main ones I can think of from my own experiences;
- He didn't try hard enough or show his REAL intentions earlier on
- He’s too friendly so you assumed he was gay
- He was flirting with other chicks in front of you so you didn't know he liked you so you dismissed anything happening with him.
- You know him too well and he’s like a brother now, so the thought of kissing him repulses you
- He just isn’t your cup of tea AT ALL
- He’s good at picking you up when you’re down…..you know those times when you feel ugly or fat so he tells you, you’re beautiful & what not
- You don’t find him attractive. Point. Blank . Period
- You know him TOO well, all his bad habits and his weak traits.
- You know he’s a douche when he’s in a relationship
- He tells you all his little secrets that make him less manly which totally kill all aspects of him being a macho tough guy.
Well I had this best friend a while back who happened to be male, we did everything together he was like a brother to me, so when people started coming up to me saying stuff like “you know he loves you right?” I used to just brush it off like whatever. Then about a year or two into our friendship he started dating some girl, she told him to stop speaking to me cause she didn’t feel comfortable with us being friends. When he told me this he said it in such a way where he was telling me he’d rather dump her than lose me, so I was like cool she doesn’t get our friendship so drop her…….and he did.
A few months went by and suddenly he stopped talking to me, I finally got a hold of him and sat him down to ask why he’s being distant and he confessed his love for me. He told me his friends had an intervention for him and advised him to stop talking to me for the sake of his love life. He said the problem was he kept hoping and seeing a future of us being a couple and together. All I could say was OH
I totally got where his friends were coming from so, me being the empathetic person that I am told him its cool if he felt he should stop talking to me if it was that deep rooted. I guess I kind of knew all along that his feelings were real but I didn’t know I was stopping him from being potentially HAPPY with someone else.
The moral of the story kids is if you have fallen victim to the abyss that is the friend zone QUIT throwing yourself at someone that has their arms crossed. They are most certainly not going to catch you now or later on. So move on while you still have some sort of dignity left even if it is as thin as a rail.
On the other hand, if its you quietly telling the opposite sex (in not so many words) to parallel park in your Friend Zone please make sure you are clear and put that person out of their misery. Let us all euthanize and rebuke the friend zone.
Thank You
